Dating is hard. You only ever get one shot at making a good impression before the moment’s gone. That’s why first dates are so important because needless to say, they’re what makes or breaks a potential relationship. Although there are certainly times when you’ll hear stories of relationships starting from terrible first dates. They eventually end up becoming memorable and comical memories to fondly look back on but most people would much prefer a successful first date than a disastrous one.
Hence without further ado, here are some tips for you to elevate your dating game to the next level.
- The Interview
Start off by imagining every date to go like a job interview; except, in this case, you’re not just the interviewee but also the interviewer. What we mean by this is that it’s always better to have a rough list of questions to ask to get the ball rolling or to save a conversation in case it becomes awkward fast. However, be mindful at the same time to not come off as too imposing by trying to pry out every piece of information from your date right at the start.
Just start off casually and let the conversation flow normally. You ask her a question and she reciprocates and vice versa. You might even build on your opening questions with related ones to either develop more interest in a certain topic or use it as a good segue to lead into other topics. Never give in to the urge to rush into things too quickly; the key is to take things slow and steady.
- A Little Bit of Flirtation
While almost everyone would agree that a person’s personality is the most important factor when determining if a partner is compatible, it’s undeniable that physical appeal or attraction is still a significant ingredient in the mix. Sometimes, a great personality alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship long enough for you to find other qualities in your partner to spark a fire between the two of you.
Thus, while “looks don’t matter” per se, I’d argue that “looks aren’t all that matters” but realistically, they still do. It’s all about mutual compatibility, both mentally and physically. Thus, in order to develop a healthy physical attraction from the get-go, always play it slow. Don’t rush into things just because you’re feeling the heat. Remember: attraction has to be mutual for it to work. Take your time to know your potential partner and find out what her turn-ons and turn-offs are amidst finding common interests.
- Proper Phone Etiquette
Whether it’s calling or texting, checking your phone on a first date can be a real buzzkill. Nobody likes feeling ignored during a conversation so why would your date like such a behavior? In this modern age of technology, our mobile phones are practically attached to our hips — they are our life source for keeping track of everything going on in our lives. However, in this short moment that you’re sharing with this special someone, it definitely wouldn’t kill you to keep your phone away or place it face-down; putting it on silent mode (and not on vibrate) would even suffice.
Give your date your full uninterrupted attention for these few hours because these short moments might just become one of the biggest turning points in your life.
- Be Engaging
Now, I feel like there’s a distinction between being engaging and being exciting. Being engaging is being able to hold a conversation properly while sustaining interest levels between both parties without feeling bored or awkward. Being exciting, on the other hand, has a closer connotation to being entertaining; as if you’re a circus act trying to perform to a crowd.
You don’t need to have the most exciting or interesting life like conquering Mt. Everest at 25 or being a bungee jumping instructor as a profession. (Obviously, if you happen to have done all of these before, kudos to you!) However, just asking simple but engaging questions about your date’s life, profession, interests, and passions can really go a long way. Not only will you get to know your date better, but you’d also enjoy the process as well. Nobody likes a bore, so don’t be one!
With that being said, don’t be a conversation killer by ending your turn with a one-word answer like “yes” or “no”. If your date asks for your opinion on a matter, don’t just treat it like a multiple-choice question — treat it like an open-ended one instead. Elaborate on your answer with “No, but I think this is better…” or “Yes, I love that too, but how about…”. Such questions will give your date leeway to respond accordingly to your response rather than having to awkwardly think of a new question to counteract your awkwardly direct one-word answer. Help her to help you make the conversation flow and engage each other.
- A Personal Anecdote
One of the most important traits that many people look for in a potential partner is their sense of humor. Humor is a great way to connect with someone in a fun yet personable way. Hence, you’ll need to know how to play your storytime cards right.
Anecdotes, in my opinion, are the best way to give a person a little insight into your life in a lighthearted manner while still showing off your sense of humor. Telling a hilarious childhood story would definitely pique your date’s interest and perhaps get her to share one in return. It sets everyone in a good mood and hopefully dispels the nervous first-date jitters and relaxes both of you for the rest of the date.
- Avoid Controversial Topics
In line with maintaining good conversational flow, do try your best to avoid any controversial topics that are simply taboo for the first date: for example, asking about past relationships or starting a debate on religious or political standpoints. These topics are all a little bit too intense on a first date for obvious reasons. They are definitely delicate and sensitive viewpoints unique to each individual that may or may not leave a bad taste in their mouth if you guys disagree on something and the conversation turns sour. Hence, please be tactful with your choice of topics in conversation and avoid negativity at all costs. At the end of the day, the whole objective of a first date is to have a good time and enjoy each other’s company.
First dates are often one of the most nerve-wracking things that you’ll have to go through in your adulthood when you’re trying to find someone special to potentially settle down with. However, don’t sweat the small things and just remember to always stay true to yourself.
Nobody wants to date a facade — and if the first date doesn’t work out because of personality clashes, then forget about it. You’re a small fish in a big pond with plenty of other fishes out there. Don’t feel disheartened by rejection. Confidence is key to lasting longer in the dating game because commitment is definitely a marathon and not a sprint. Another thing to look out for is the way you groom yourself; after all, ladies are naturally attracted to men who look and smell good. Having said that, feel free to source for the top pheromones for guys and find out which scents work best for you. I hope that these tips are useful and helpful for you as you tackle each first date as it comes. Now, go get them, tiger!