Hospitals are pretty much a whole other world on their own. Doctors spend pretty much their entire lives there, so it is definitely safe to assume they see some wacky stuff that they accidentally walk into or walk by. And strangely, since it is hospital, doesn’t mean people don’t have ‘Needs’.
1. The Weirdest Lap dance In History
“I walked into a quadriplegic gangbangɛr with the worst pressure ulcers I have ever seen (lower back and both hips had bones completely exposed, septic wounds, all of them) getting a lapdance from his underage girlfriend who was topless, rubbing herself against his flaccid, foley catheter’d pɛn!s. I stood there for a second, turned around and closed the door trying to understand what I had just seen, the girl got dressed and walked past me as fast as she could and when I entered the room again the patient just said with a grin ‘She missed me doc'”.
2. That wasn’t very smart.
“Worked Labor and Delivery one night. This younger (about 16-17) girl was in labor and had pregnancy induced hypertension. She was in the room with her boyfriend when we heard him scream. We ran in there to find her giving him a bl0wj0b, which isn’t all that unusual in hospitals. But see here’s the thing, if blood pressure gets high enough, people will have seizures. And when people have seizures, they tend to bite down very hard. We had to basically pry this girl’s mouth away from his thing.”
3. Not Sneaky enough
15-year-old male with abdominal pain. Three nurses and a doctor caught him mesturbeting!
4. Just why? Why would someone do that?
“A few years ago I went to visit a friend in hospital when I walked into the wrong room and witnessed a patient peeing into their own mouth. I was so shocked I just slowly took a few steps back and quietly left his room.”
5. Something to never waste
Walked in on a patient’s wife giving him a hɑnd j0b while he had a catheter in. He looks at me and says “son you never waste a hɑrd on”.
6. There is danger around any corner
“First internship in a geriatric ward. Me and a fellow student walk into a patient’s room, who is screaming like crazy. He was known for having serious dementia. We open the door and my student-colleague gets a warm handful of sh!t thrown right in his face.”