You can always get to know good $ex when you actually have it. Body-aching vigorous orgasms, bliss that even lasts for several hours afterwards, and a wonderful feeling of satisfaction that lasts very long after the initial encounter are just part of a wonderful $exual encounter. This is not about that, though. This is about the other type of $ex. The kind you wish you had not performed in the bed. That is called the bad $ex, you know.
Someone had once said that $ex is just like a pizza. Even the worst kind is generally pretty good. But maybe they have not had really a bad $ex in their entire life. The kind where you wish you had stayed home with your vibrator instead of doing that actually. It is usually not the fault of one person, unless it actually is. Whether it is because they learned that from any porn or whether they are just really very selfish AF, here are 8 typical habits of men who are generally way too shitty in the bed.
1. They make it all about them only.
Ladies should always come first. But even if they do not, a man who leaves you just in a hanging state is a man who downright sucks in the bed when with you. If he actually finishes, rolls off you, and subsequently and promptly gets into a deep slumber without even attempting to help you reach the climax, he is actually nothing but a slime ball. If he is a man you know very well, do have a chat. If he’s a one night stand, end that right then and there. You actually do not need that kind of negativity in your life at all, do you?
2. They treat your va9ina like a chew toy
There is something going down on someone. And then, there is also acting like a dog with a rubber hamburger. The latter? Isn’t that damn $exy? Sure, it is great that he is eager and a guy like that can probably learn to do it even far better. But he just needs to be open to instruction and you have to be really very willing to go there.
3. Or worse, seem terrified of putting their face even near your va9ina at all.
Much worse than the particular chew boy is the no-chew boy. You know this one. He actually expects fellatio but does not want to give it in return to his woman. Just say hell no to this guy on the face.
4. They conveniently forget everything about foreplay.
You might have thought that every guy knew that you were supposed to get the things started before you go to town. But it seems some still have not gotten the memo at all. Most women need at least a little bit of a kind of warm-up just prior to the main show. Guys who forget that do not often get any callbacks.
5. They have no fucking clue what to do with your beautiful breasts.
Hey, they are attached, dude! He is just kneading them like freaking pizza dough and touches you as if your body is more for his pleasure than your own. This move is actually the granddaddy of that kind of philosophy. Which woman in her normal mind wants her breasts manhandled just like that?! Touch, it is okay for sure. Lick, why not? But knead? Um, that is a strict No-No. Try again.
6. They jackhammer your va9ina.
In and out in and again out in and out. Over and over again. Faster, and faster. It can also be fun. But when that is his only move, it gets really very old. It gets really very dry and even gets painful. And let’s just face it: Men who cannot vary their pumps probably are not very adept at all the other of proper fucking.
7. They tell you to “shhhh!”
This happened to many people when they hooked up with a guy. They had been massively into throughout college. Just when they get into it, he shushed her. And he told to “chill, girl, chill.” A guy that “chill” doesn’t improve his game at all. Good $ex can and rather should be loud and also uninhibited. If he does not like your noise in bed, he is not going to like it out of the bed, either.
8. They shove your head right away.
This is hands down the abso-fucking-lute disgusting and the worst. If a woman wants to give you oral, she will make it there herself. Otherwise, she does not need your head shove to get to the point. You want a blowjob, right? Then be patient. The only thing that your coaxing hand will get you is just a laugh over drinks with her girlfriends later. As in: Can you just believe how bad that guy was in the bed?!